Don’t tell my mom, but I still do online dating. It started off as harmless, and still is (according to my definition of the word), but has become somewhat of a hobby. On the off chance that you’re curious about how this evolution looks, here’s a chart:
|Age||Online Dating Use|
|19||Consisted of quick shame-filled views of strangers who were often missing their shirts.’ Ew, is that a penis? Oh no.|
|21||“Cool, men everywhere. The possibilities are endless.—Oh look, Grey’s is on.”|
|23||“My boyfriend is the worst. Coping mechanisms? Yeah, I have Vodka and these guys. I really have to be less judgmental, and messege everyone who writes me back– I am in a wheelchair, after all. ”|
|25||“Ugh why would half these people even write me? I’m changing my profile to ’interested in women,’ that should fix things.|
On second thought, maybe that’s more of a regression than evolution. And it gets worse.
I’m the type of person who really feels (and detests) differences in power, especially in social situations. You might say it differently, maybe that I have issues with authority or am just a big ball of Suck, who feels everything too deeply. However you put it, I get the willies when I feel inferior to others or feel that someone is feeling inferior to me, and it plays a part in how I interact with people.
This can really be a damper when it comes to me gettng mine, because it often means that I can’t say no very well, and this in turn means that I end up making up ridiculous excuses. The other day I told someone my mom is in the hospital. Really, shes on the beach, getting hit on by men in-the-flesh…………..hmphhhh.
But yesterday, someone was texting me, and I just didnt care, but the guy was pushy to get together. After about the third “?” from him in response to my lack of response, I realized something. This dude had been texting me for 3 days straight, and had been hot on meeting up since the first text, which hadn’t happened. It more than likely meant that in his rush to meet my beautiful face, he hadn’t read one word of my profile.
He doesn’t know I’m in a wheelchair.
Usually, having to drop the bomb of my disability on people hurts my heart a bit. The internet is the one place where people can be ignorant of my impairment and laugh at my jokes without knowing my situational context(and without weird stereotypes). I normally hate disclosing my disability because it is the beginning of vulnerability, and the end of fun. Yesterday though, I needed that bomb, I liked it even, and despite knowing better, I used it.
“You do know I’m in a wheelchair, right”
“Are you serious??””What happened?”
“I was born too early. If it’s an issue for you, say so”
“Nah, I’ll just come over so you dont have to go in the snow”
Yes, that’s why you’re coming over. Hahahah, online men, this is probably the 120th time someone’s come up with that brilliant suggestion. Apparently stranger danger isn’t a thing anymore, and its 100% cool to just let whoever into your apartment. Geeze girls, we’ve been worrying for so long over nothing. We’re so silly.
Anyways, my original point was that USING YOUR DISABILITY AS A DETERRENT IS WRONG. It didn’t even work, which is actually cool…i love living at this point in history. So anyways, you’re beautiful, and JUST SAY NO, GODDAMNIT.
BTW: I found the textual evidence after the fact and as you can see, have uploaded it. I want to add that this guy might’ve just been being considerate, but I’ve been propositioned this way plenty of times, even before snow was a factor. So…I would really only know his intent if I got off my butt and met him.